Is it more rewarding to be given something, or to have earned it?
Four days ago I put the question out: Is it more rewarding to be given something, or to have earned it? I posed this question on all of my social media accounts. I had one response. Across LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram. Check out her response here. (Follow me while you there!)
That evening I posed the question to my husband. A few days before, we had discussed whether student athletes should expect to get playing time if they aren’t strong players. We were unsettled on the question that day. I shared with him how one of the participants from my training that day had made reference to a meme that laments the entitled attitude of today’s kids. The meme suggests that this shift into entitlement is due to the fact that nowadays everyone gets a trophy in little league, regardless of their contribution – a participation trophy.
I think I’ve seen this meme before and it’s a bit extreme to me; but I follow the underlying idea. Thus, it prompted the question I posed: Is it more rewarding to be given something, or to have earned it? My husband and I still did not draw a clear conclusion. (I think we get why leagues have opted to do this. It comes from a place of compassion and valuing others regardless of how much they can contribute. And that has a place too.)
Sometimes I think of this question in the most practical of ways: A spoiled person who has everything and appreciates nothing. The kid who has been given everything but treats his parents with no love and regard. The family who bickers until their inheritance is lost to others. The rich kids who treats things and people as though they have no value. When I consider these situations; I am certain that it is better to earn.
But if I am honest, there are people with means and who have been given the world who still have compassion and care for things and others. There are spoiled kids who love their parents dearly and love on them. There are families who agree and make good on their inheritance. They are not mutually exclusive. So where is the line? Where is the truth? Which is better?
Fast forward to church that Sunday. The guest pastor’s message was titled “The Long Game”. When the lights came up, he had a microwave sitting on one side and a crockpot sitting on the other. The crux of his message was that time (and suffering) develops things that cannot be developed otherwise. I loved it. It was the answer I was seeking. (Check out his full message here.)
It is still not black and white, but it is a fine answer to the question. I rejoiced.
Here is what I took away: Certain things i.e. qualities and characteristics cannot be given. They are only earned. So, to the question is it more rewarding to be given something, or to have earned it? If the rewards are qualities like patience, perseverance, pride-of-work, determination, or hard-work, it cannot be given. It can only be earned. We should not look for this quality from any gift that was ever given.
However, if the reward are qualities like compassion, kindness, tolerance, or support, then perhaps a gift is better.
P.S. With regard to the meme, the truth is the trophies did not imbue those qualities in the first place. Those trophies meant different things to different people.
It makes perfect sense to me now, so thought I would share. Hope it makes sense to you. LOL. Let me know in the comments.
#Seek and it shall be given unto you
